Happiness is in your hands.

"You are responsible for your own happiness" my sister read to me from a book the other day. That started a long train of thoughts that would like to put down here.
It has been said before and will probably be repeated thousands of times more: No one but YOU can make your self happy.
You can't rely on family, friends, partner(s), pets or anyone else for your happiness. You create your happiness, every day.

The human brain is magnificent with all that it can come up with and create! Genius inventions, being able to plan and predict the future, understanding cause and effect, relate to people and understand their feelings, being aware of our selves. We create our own reality, which is our blessing and curse at the same time.
We can have everything we need and want and still be unhappy. And we can be put in the worst environment, lacking food and shelter and still feel happiness. So our environment is obviously not what makes the difference. Being rich doesn't automatically mean happiness, even though having enough money to get food and shelter makes life easier. It seems we get more anxious and unhappy the wealthier we get. Maybe we start seeing what we can't get instead of being grateful for what we have, when we get more money?

It's not what you've been given, it's how you recieve it.

Personally:
I'm fighting my destructive thoughts every day. I have everything I need in my life, a good job that gives me more than enough money, a nice apartment, good friends, hobbies I enjoy and the best possible boyfriend I could wish for.
Still I need to work on my gratefulness every day, to remind my self of what I have and remind my self to be in the moment and enjoy each and every day as much as possible.
I know I'm not in the position were I want to be, not exactly. I've been feeling uneasy, anxious and sad, almost a bit depressed for a couple of years. Not really knowing why. Feeling a bit lost and alone.
This last year has been a major change! I've found out so many things about my self, and that I wasn't doing what felt right for me, I was doing what I thought I needed to do. I cared to much about what other people would think and forgot my self on the way. 
Now I found my direction, I know I want to change things in my life, a couple of factors that will make it possible for me to grow in the direction I want. It's a slow and painful progress and involves quite a bit of insecurity, old and new demons of my mind and fighting with a constant fear. The fear lies in the change, of going from what I know to a new way of living, changing my thoughts around many of the things I've taken as granted.
But I'm sure I'm working my way towards more happiness and harmony in my life, it's just not easy all the time. And with every day I push on I learn I wake up in the morning feeling a little better with my self than the day before. I can't see any other way of living now.

I've also realized that by putting my trust into the universe and deciding that all my wishes will come true by keeping to my dreams and working towards them all the time, it magically happens. Step by step I come closer to the life I want to live.
Some days I just feel exhausted, small and scared, ready to give up and keep to what I know is working.
Then I have to be kind to my self, pat my self on the shoulder and remember that I'm not happy the way it is now, things have to change in one way or the other.

I consider my self lucky for going through this process. For having found out what was nagging me and started the change. There has been peoplewho have gone through the same things and made it before me, then I can do it as well!
It's a part of growing up and taking responsibility for your self and your feelings. I want to decide if I'm happy or not!